The Way of the Ninja
by Docnerd89
Summary: Pre-episode ficlet for 'The Way of the Ninja' based solely on the promo. So, *Spoiler warning*. Cover-art by dtrekker, Beta by Fembot77.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Castle.

Thank God for it too. I can't even imagine having to deal with the number of fans. I mean, we're a bit nutty, dontcha agree? (& I mean that in the best way, of course).

* * *

"Ninjas?"

"Ninjas."

"You're really sticking with that?" Kate asked in a flat tone.

"Would I make something like this up?" Castle scrunched his nose, reviewing his rhetoric. It's funny how couples picked up on each other's habits. "_Don't _answer that."

She twisted her lips to hide her grin.

"Look, I'll start from the beginning and then it'll all make sense."

"Somehow I doubt that," Beckett said skeptically. "But let's hear what you have to say, Castle."

"Make yourself comfortable," Castle said, earning himself a glare. Stalling was not working. Okay, then. He shrugged. "It all started…"

* * *

"A geisha house?" Ryan asked incredulously.

"Oooh! I want in on this one!" Castle said enthusiastically.

Ryan and Esposito turned to him and folded their hands in eerie synchronicity. Castle wondered if that's what he and Kate looked like to the rest of the world.

"What?"

"Oh, _now_ you want to follow us around, Castle?" Ryan asked.

Esposito chimed in, "Not when we're doing other important stuff that could, and should go into your books."

"Yeah, like screening video surveillance, going to IT a gazillion times to pester them about looking up IPs –" Ryan supplied.

Esposito half turned to him and started gesturing, "Going to the morgue every time there's a new discovery – not that I mind that part too much; waddling through phone records till our eyes go all squinty," he finished with squinting his eyes.

"Heh," Castle managed to curb his laughter at the murderous looks it was garnering him. "Oh, come on guys. It's research for Roach! And I put _some_ of that stuff in the books. I can't very well put the details of the – the tremendously important job you do, can I? Readers would find it monotonous and start skipping over Roach scenes!"

Esposito unfolded his arms in indignation. Castle couldn't tell whether it was in response to having called his job monotonous (and let's face it, they all knew he meant _boring_), or that readers would skip Roach scenes (the nerve!), but he took it for the opening it was, started pointing at Esposito and nodding sagely. "Yeah, see? We don't want _that_! I mean, Roach are vital to the story. It's all about the team. Go team!" he put out his fist for a fist bump.

Ryan rolled his eyes at him. "Uh-huh."

Perhaps that was overkill.

"I'll buy you guys muffins?"

Rysposito turned to each other to have a silent discussion, as one would expect couples to do. Castle wondered whether Jenny and Lanie were aware of their quaint partnership – brothers in arms – soul brothers. Heh. He focused back on their faces when they turned back to him.

"Muffins from that place where you got them the last time?"

"You got it!"

"You're in, Castle. Let's go," Esposito said, thumping his shoulder.

"Score!"

They made their way to the Geisha house fairly quickly, and soon they were winding their way through a bunch of geisha waitresses carrying trays of not-exactly-traditional looking Japanese cuisine.

"Did you know," Castle began, "that the literal translation of Geisha is 'performing artist'. They're essentially hostesses, though they'll provide entertainment like dance, music, elaborate shows."

"Yeah, I think we all know what kind of _entertainment_ to expect from this place," Esposito said, eyeing a middle-aged business man being led away by a Geisha to a room at the far corner. They turned upon hearing someone clearing their throat behind them.

"Are you looking for a table?" the hostess asked. She looked an odd mixture of stern and polite, managing somehow to convey her suspicion over their presence in the place.

Castle took a back seat while Esposito and Ryan explained why they were there. Instead, he wondered how long it must have taken to apply the copious amount of make-up she had on. Beautiful, but blech! So much gunk on the face. Thank God he wasn't a woman.

"No, thanks. Do you recognize this girl?" Esposito asked, showing her a photo of a young girl in her twenties in one hand, and his badge in the other.

The woman, of course, first looked at the badge. Other than a slight widening of the eyes, her face was a mask of icy, cool composure.

"What's this about?" she asked.

Esposito narrowed his eyes.

"It's about a murder investigation. This girl is dead."

"Kiara's dead?" the woman asked, finally showing some emotions.

Ryan nodded sympathetically.

"And she was murdered?" she asked weakly.

Castle wondered briefly whether there was some part of the brain that needed to repeat such facts to believe them. Maybe it was just part of being human.

Again the woman asked. "Who killed her?"

And that, Castle thought, was part of human stupidity. Nearly everyone who was delivered the news would ask this question. If they knew who killed her… He rolled his eyes (internally, cause he was nice like that).

"That's what we're trying to find out," Ryan replied.

Esposito asked, "It'll help us if you could tell us everything you know about Kiara."

"Well, she worked here part-time to pay for her dance classes. She was an aspiring ballerina, and was rather good at it too. I don't know her well personally, but she had a few friends here. You should talk to one of them," she said, pointing at a small group of Geisha huddled together behind a screen.

One of them saw the woman silently gesturing, and as if on cue, started making her way towards them. "I'll leave you to it. I do have guests to tend to," she said and left them as the Geisha approached.

"Good evening, do you wish for a private table?" she began with a thick accent.

"Uh – no. NYPD," Esposito stated. "We'd like to know about your friend," he said, holding up the picture.

"She's not working today," the girl responded, her expression a little vexed. "But I can host you just as well."

"When did you last see her?"

"What is this about?" she asked, just as her supervisor had done.

They shared a look and explained, "She was murdered yesterday."

"She's dead?"

Castle sighed. It was getting to be annoying. Then again, maybe he should make a note of it. If he thought hard enough, he could turn it into a drinking game! A rather macabre one, but hey, he was Richard Castle – master of macabre (and drinking). Hmmm. He shook his head to tune back into the conversation.

"Yes, she was killed last night. Can you think of any reason anyone would want to harm her?"

"I – no," she hesitated. "Who killed her?" she asked with no trace of an accent to be found anymore.

With an eye roll worthy of Beckett, Castle muttered "Obviously, it was the ninjas." Surprisingly, the girls eyes widened at that.

As the young woman gasped, Ryan slapped Castle's shoulder with the back of his hand and hissed, "Castle!"

Esposito glared at him, and then told the girl, "He's just kidding, of course. Trying to – keep you from crying – or something."

"Oh. Ha-ha. Of course," she replied uneasily. Then she turned to the other girls whom she had been standing with earlier and gestured them over. "We'll tell you all we can. Maybe show you around so the customers don't get suspicious?"

"Sure, that would be fine," Ryan replied.

"You could split up, to cover more places quickly," she said. Castle found this rather suspicious, but acquiesced with Esposito's answering nod. Also, no one really asked him. She directed the girls to lead Esposito and Ryan in two different directions, leaving Castle to follow her. He found this more suspicious. Maybe she recognized him through his books? Or maybe she was a Geisha assassin. Hmm… The idea had merits. Either way, his spidey-senses (or his paranoid writer's sense of anticipation of imminent doom) were tingling.

"So Mr.?"

That was that, clearly she didn't recognize him.

"Castle," he supplied.

"Mr. Castle, you're not a detective like the other two." It was not a question.

"Is it that obvious?" he asked.

"You don't look like a cop."

He shrugged.

"Or talk like one."

"Ah, sorry about that."

"It's okay. Why did you think it was ninjas?" she asked with what he thought was faux-innocence, as they entered a room. She allowed him to go ahead of her, and then closed the purple shaded paper screen for a door. Not creepy at all.

"Uhm," he said, studying the fake cherry blossom tree in the room. "I really was just kidding. Although, you know, it could be true. She was killed by a sharp blade." Could he tell her that? Maybe he shouldn't have told her that.

"Oh really," she said, suddenly closer than he expected.

He jumped backward with a squeal as she stroked his arm. "Wha - what are you doing?"

"Just showing you around. This is where she worked after all."

"Uh. So, she provided personal entertainment?" he asked, hinting not so subtly, as he backed away from her. Did him no good since she was following.

"No. Although she was asked for by a number of regular – guests. She refused, and no one forced her because she made enough money, just acting as a regular hostess." She said it with mild disgust on her face, but quickly adjusted her features, "but I'm no prude, Mr. Castle. It'll be our little secret. This place is not dangerous," she said as she pushed him to the bed, and went for his mouth.

"So you say," he squeaked, trying to escape from the crazy Geisha. "I'm an engaged man, lady."

"That's okay, you poor thing," she said, trying to kiss him again, as he still tried to push her away. It shouldn't be so hard. She was tiny. He was not. It was like trying to slap away a pesky mosquito out for his blood. Why did this keep happening to him?

"No, no. Not okay. I'm a happily engaged man."

She gave a rather non-Geisha-like snort at that, and smiled widely before attacking him again, faster than him this time.

* * *

"You were making out with a Geisha?" Kate yelled at him in disbelief.

Castle tried desperately to defend himself, "And that's when the ninjas attacked!" He looked down at his gesturing hands, even finding it ridiculous himself. And he was the believer between the two of them. He shook his head. "Listen, so then I told her…"

* * *

His eyes widened in shock when her lips landed on his, but he finally managed to push her away without hurting her. As he looked up he gave a surprised gasp at a shadowy figure peering at them through the closed screen.

"Given my luck," he muttered to the Geisha, "that'll be my fiancé, and both of us are going to be in trouble if you don't get off me."

She turned to the screen, and looked more scared than he thought she might, given how forward (to put it mildly) she was being. Gasping, she whispered, "You were right! It's him!"

"What? No!" he huffed, affronted, "I may not be interested in you, but I definitely don't play for the other team." Honestly!

"No, you fool! I mean it's the ninjas!"

"That would be less dangerous than my fiancé," he said part lightly in response to her paranoia, and part seriously because it was true. On taking a closer look, the shadow seemed more like a bald man without a nose. Aha! Voldemort!

Apparently he had spoken out loud because the cuckoo Geisha continued to hiss. "This is no joke; they're going to kill us," she said, moving away from him and looking around wildly trying to find a place to hide.

"Riiiight. Lady, you need help," he said, standing and taking out his phone. "I'll get you some. Help I mean," he said, narrowing his eyes, as he held the phone to his ear.

The tell-tale ominous click of the door being opened led him to turn around. The not ominously all-black attired _Ninja_ may have caused his heart to skip a beat or two. He realized that his arm holding the phone to his ear lowered a few inches.

In all his years of working alongside Kate Beckett, this was the first time he wanted to kick himself for his outlandish theories. He didn't know whether it was cause for celebration – _Because there stood a freakin' NINJA in front of him. SO COOL!_ – or whether he wanted to jump out a window because really – as if the normal murderers weren't enough of an obstacle in their lives. He almost wondered if they could expect a mustache twirling villain next. Oh, wait. There had been Pi. Kind of fit that role.

With a start, he was woken from his minute long musing when the ninja's shuriken struck his phone. _Still freakin' cool!_ Freakin' terrifying too, he thought, with his mouth gaping. In what must have been a suicidal impulse generated through frustration, he turned his head towards the ninja and started admonishing him.

"This is the seventh phone damaged in the line of duty, and I do _not_ get reimbursed!"

The ninja, whose face was naturally hidden, cocked his head in confusion at the crazy man in front of him before drawing his sword out.

"Ah, it's okay. I wanted to buy the latest model anyway," he said stupidly to the oncoming blade. He ducked and moved as the ninja took a swing at him, and was able to head to the door, following the Geisha who'd seen her chance to escape once the ninja targeted Castle. That so counted as a rescue.

He looked behind, over his shoulder as he sped towards the main floor of the club, and slammed into a very unhappy looking detective. Esposito was rubbing his shoulder and trying not to wince while Ryan looked on, trying unsuccessfully not to laugh.

"Ryan! Espo! Boy, am I glad I ran into you two," he said between breaths.

"Literally," huffed Esposito.

"You guys, come on!" Castle tugged at both their elbows, like a mad man. "There's a ninja back there."

Twin expressions of incredulity stared back at him. Esposito was the first to laugh. "Castle, we have to get going. It was fun and all, but we have actual work to do."

"NO! Come on! I'm serious. There's a ninja back there!" he shouted in their faces.

"Serious. Ninja. Oxymoron," Ryan said, grinning at him.

"Or just moron," Esposito nodded.

"but – but – I can prove it! My phone. His shuriken hit my phone."

"Ew," Esposito said disgustedly, taking a step away from him.

Castle rolled his eyes and hurriedly explained, "A shuriken is that ninja star weapon thing that they chuck at things."

"Uh huh. So where is it."

"I dropped it when I ran for my _life_. He started attacking me with his sword."

Judging from Ryan's rapidly reddening face, Castle supposed it would be prudent to watch what he was saying, but there wasn't enough time.

"Okay, Castle, show us where your little ninja is."

Even in the excited form he was in, he took a moment to smirk and said, "That's what she said."

He appreciated when Ryan grinned, until Esposito stated, "You do realize that 'she' would imply Beckett for you now, don't you?"

They both grimaced and shook the thought from their heads –

* * *

"Little ninja?" she repeated, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, it's cool."

"I'm not calling it that," Kate said dryly

"Fine," he shrugged. It was just a suggestion.

"Fine," she gestured for him to carry on.

* * *

-and then they were following Castle back the way he came running out from.

"In there. But be careful. Ninjas are superfast."

"And yet you escaped. This must be a slow one."

"Or maybe I have ninja-like skills," he said, frowning when both of them snorted.

"Like the time you put Kate's Valentine's gift in Gates' coat?" Ryan reminded him.

"We agreed not to talk about that."

"I don't recall such an agreement," Ryan said with a grin, and turned to Espo, "do you?"

"Nope. No such agreement."

Castle cleared his throat, "Guys, the ninja?"

Ryan and Esposito took up positions besides the door, quickly making a seamless transition into professionalism. Castle knew to stand behind. Espo tried to open the door, but finding it locked, turned to Castle, raising his brow.

He shrugged.

They heard a noise from inside. By the look on their faces, Castle thought they finally took him seriously – _finally_! Ryan was ready and pointing his gun, as Esposito backed up to kick the door in.

The door, which was made up of some kind of cardboard or paper just got partially ripped. Esposito was left stuck with his leg up in a hole in a door.

If he wasn't concerned about his friend's leg getting chopped off by a ninja's sword, Castle would have found this highly amusing. In fact, he still did find it highly amusing, but resisted the urge to laugh, instead helping pull Esposito back.

"Suave," he remarked. "Very Bond of you."

Esposito glared at him.

Ryan entered, followed by Espo and a rather smug looking Castle. If they had listened to him in the first place, they might have caught the ninja assassin. He had always wondered what they looked like up close. After that experience, Castle decided, they looked like overgrown men in all-black onesies.

* * *

"There was no one in there!" Castle declared as if in victory.

Beckett just stared at him as if he'd grown two heads.

"Don't you see? There was nothing to see!"

"You mean there's no point to this entire, really lengthy tale?" she asked, exasperated.

"No! That was the point. I was right. About the ninjas!"

Kate brought her hand up to rub her temple. "Castle – "

"Kate," he said, grabbing her gently by the waist and pulling her to him. "There was no one there, not that I expected the ninja to stick around for a spot of tea. But my phone wasn't there either, and the crazy Geisha girl – who was trying to take advantage of me by the way – was absconding, too. We tried to find her to corroborate my story."

Kate sighed and closed her eyes, as he drew her closer.

"Kate?" he said, waiting for her to open her eyes. As she sighed and looked down, he gave her the best puppy eyed look he could muster, "I'm not making this up. If you don't believe me, no one will."

His sincere pleading look would be the end of her some day, she knew it. And God forbid if her kids were to inherit the _look_ she was doomed. She tucked those thoughts away for later. Much, much later. "Okay, so let's say you were attacked by a guy dressed up as a ninja."

His answering smile lit up his face, and she smiled at his renewed excitement. He really was adorable, if a little out there. Castle leaned forwards and brushed his lips gently against hers, lingering with the softest touch.

"Castle, I'm not saying it was a ninja," she whispered.

"I know," he said nuzzling her nose with his. "Close enough."

"Okay," she said, "let's go back there and look for proof. I'll ask the guys to trace your phone."

"Great!" he said, leaning in to give her a quick peck on the lips. With an 'I love you' he ran off to get his jacket.

"Love you, too," she replied. Because it was obviously love if Kate Beckett was ready to entertain the idea of ninjas. Or any of his ideas through the years. He hadn't managed to make a believer out of her. She was too sane for that. But he had earned her support, no matter what, even back when they had just started their partnership; even now that they were well established in their relationship. And really, she thought, she couldn't see it changing any time in the near future. This was their future – Caskett flavored - and she wouldn't change it for all the world.

* * *

**A/N:**

I wrote this because my friend dtrekker requested me to, & after the last episode, I agreed that we needed something light. Also, she bribed me with cover-art. & she's awesome, but ya'll know that already.

A very special thanks and my heartfelt gratitude goes out to Fembot77 who is an excellent person, my soul-bot, and beta for this fic. Thanks, Bot! You're aces!

Oh, P.S! : I have no idea if her name is Kiara. I just saw the name in the guest casting. I've seen no sneaks (probably because they aren't out yet, and I'm no oracle.), so this only based on the teaser.


End file.
